How Can Tolerance Improve Sexual Intimacy?

Only God is perfect. He is all-knowing and complete in every way. Humans, however, are created with individual differences—strengths in some areas and weaknesses in others. In His infinite wisdom, God made us this way so we could complement each other, especially within the context of marriage. This truth calls for mutual tolerance and understanding.

Scripture urges us to be patient with one another’s shortcomings, just as others are called to be patient with ours. As Solomon wisely states, “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone” (Proverbs 25:15, NIV). Instead of fighting over a partner’s sexual inadequacies, couples should exhibit genuine patience and work together toward resolution.

READ: The Spiritual and Health Consequences of Adultery in Marriage

God designed us as male and female because it is not good for anyone to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Marriage was never intended to magnify one another’s flaws, but rather to provide support and companionship. As Proverbs 24:11–12 warns, we cannot feign ignorance or abandon our responsibilities toward our spouse; God sees and judges the intents of the heart.

A successful marriage requires both partners to help each other navigate life’s challenges. Paul’s advice to the Ephesian church is very applicable: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:1–2, NIV). This kind of love-driven patience fosters harmony, even in the face of unmet expectations.

It’s important to understand that no one person can perfectly meet every criterion on your list of an ideal partner. The path to peace and satisfaction in marriage lies in choosing contentment and tolerance—embracing your spouse’s strengths while graciously handling their weaknesses. If what is lacking is not essential to a fulfilling Christian life, it can often be overlooked with love and maturity. In time, love can dissolve even the most persistent discomforts.

However, Satan often exploits unresolved marital issues. He thrives in silence, bitterness, and division. That’s why Scripture urges us to “resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7, NKJV). Open communication is essential. One partner must take the initiative to begin a sincere, respectful, and solution-focused discussion about their issues. This should never be confrontational but done in a spirit of humility and love. When your partner sees your genuine intent to heal and not to blame, cooperation becomes more likely.

Still, healing takes time. The initiator of the conversation must be patient and careful not to come across as pressuring or nagging. Even subtle signs of impatience or blame can provoke defensiveness, making matters worse. If the partner suspects manipulation or insincerity, it can damage trust and derail any progress made.

Also read: Healing Sexually Broken Marriages: Biblical Keys to Restoring Intimacy and Purity in the Family

Tolerance in marriage—especially in sensitive areas like sex—is not merely about enduring one another; it’s about giving in love. The way we offer grace and understanding matters more than how well we live or how perfect our partner seems.

In addition to spiritual and emotional support, some sexual challenges may require professional help. Couples are encouraged to seek guidance from qualified medical professionals, psychologists, or counselors—preferably those grounded in sound biblical principles. It’s essential to avoid immature or unethical counselors, as some may exploit vulnerable clients, worsening marital distress and leading them into deeper spiritual compromise.

Ultimately, successful sexual relations in marriage hinge not on perfection, but on patience, humility, and love. When both partners commit to this, healing and fulfillment become not only possible but likely.