How Marriage Affects Happiness, Success, and Well-Being

The climax of achievement in life is having a happy family. No one is complete without a marriage partner in a happy home. A single man or woman is an incomplete animal, resembling the odd half of a pair of scissors. A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers—an empty life. An unmarried woman, on the other hand, lives an unfulfilling life.

This is what God, our Creator, meant when He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18, NIV). Take it or leave it—unknown to many, all struggles in life, at their core, are about being worthy of a suitable marriage partner with whom to share the rest of one’s life.

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Jesus acknowledged that remaining unmarried is desirable if one can cope with it. He said, “Some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” (Matthew 19:12, NIV).

Therefore, except for those who choose celibacy in service to God, failure in marriage is failure in all. Regardless of one’s fame, status, or position in society, there will always be a void in the heart of an unmarried or unhappily married person. To cohabit with an incompatible partner or to live without a spouse is to merely exist, not truly live.

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Richard Steele puts it succinctly: “The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the most complete image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life.” (The Spectator).

Never mind the advocates of unmarried life or single parenthood, painting it as blissful. They are either pretending to be happy while yearning for a partner or unaware of what they are missing. One who has never known comfort cannot fully grasp what it means to be comfortable. Likewise, no matter how successful one and their children may be, happiness is incomplete without the union of a loving marriage partner.

Think about it.

Sooner or later, the emptiness of an unhappy life will dawn on those who advocate for singlehood or single parenthood. Their philosophy of living is often shaped by the frustration of failing to secure or sustain a suitable partner. Every happily married person was once single and is in the best position to compare both states of life. However, those who have never been married or those embittered by failed marriages cannot make such comparisons.

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Socrates wisely advised: “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” Just as a person with no sense of smell cannot describe a fine perfume, one outside a happy marriage cannot truly comprehend its bliss. To understand success, one must succeed; to know happiness, one must experience it; to understand peace, one must be in Christ, as stated in “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding.” (Philippians 4:7, NIV).

There Are Many Privileges in Being Married

Marriage, especially a happy one, significantly influences many aspects of life. Unmarried persons often become objects of suspicion. Knowing someone is a divorcee or an “overripe” bachelor or spinster can change how others perceive and interact with them. They may even become subjects of gossip, depending on their status in life. Women are particularly affected by this.

Being happily married enhances one’s image, integrity, prestige, and productivity. An unmarried person may even be deemed unsuitable for certain positions in life, as they are often perceived as deficient in some way. Even landlords sometimes discriminate against singles due to potential complications from their lifestyle or relationships.

Moreover, it is questionable whether an unhappily married person, an old bachelor or spinster, or a divorcee—who is not celibate—can be a genuine and effective Christian. The demands of life make it difficult. This is why Paul advised the unmarried and widows in the Corinthian church: “If they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, NIV).

Not Everyone Is Happy About Your Marriage

Do you think everyone at your wedding—those smiling, celebrating, and offering gifts—is genuinely happy for you? If so, you are mistaken. Many, out of jealousy, secretly resent your marriage. This includes classmates, friends, colleagues, and even members of your own family.

As the Bible warns, “A man’s enemies will be those of his own household.” (Matthew 10:36, NKJV). Some mothers secretly envy their daughters’ husbands, wishing they had a second chance. Others wish their favorite daughter had been chosen instead. It is a strange world.

A hymn wisely reminds Christians:

“Christians, seek not yet repose,  

Hark, thine guardian angels say,  

Thou art in the midst of foes,  

Watch and pray.”

Success in marriage requires determination and constant prayer. Even close family members may not be entirely loyal to you, let alone outsiders who claim to be well-wishers but are actually homewreckers. Only through prayer can you confidently walk through the valley of life, knowing God’s presence and guidance. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalms 23:4, NIV).

Each Marriage Is Unique – There Is No Basis for Comparison

No two individuals are perfectly identical. People differ in background, interests, exposure, mentality, emotions, and aspirations. Consequently, no two marriages are alike. Henry Youngman put it best: “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” 

Rather than comparing your marriage to others, focus on building a happy home with the resources God has given you. Unnecessary competition leads to frustration and failure. A couple striving for an unrealistic standard set by others will lose both peace and fulfillment.

Avoid modeling your marriage after stories from novels, films, or even the lives of parents, neighbors, and friends. While insights from these sources may be useful, they should be adapted to your unique circumstances. Instead of imitating someone else’s marriage, apply only the wisdom that suits your specific situation.

A truly fulfilling marriage is built with patience, wisdom, and the grace of God.