5 Things to Watch Out for When Choosing a Life Partner
When choosing a partner, there are several things you need to watch out for. Most times, people make this decision based on how they feel or their emotions toward someone, but it’s not enough. Feelings are good, but they are not the only thing that should lead you.
You need to look out for traits, traits that match the kind of person you are or the kind of person you want to become. Traits like self-control, emotional intelligence, contentment, faithfulness, and even purpose. Some of these traits, you may still be discovering them in yourself based on your experiences, but once you identify them, it’s important to also check them in the person you want to spend your life with.
They say “unlike fools, you fail” I was trying to say “unlike poles repel,” but the idea is that in relationships, like minds attract. It’s not just about what you want from the person, it’s about what both of you have in common — the values, the ideas, the norms, and how well you understand each other.
Let me share with you five key things you need to check in someone you’re thinking about building your life with. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.
1. Self-Control
First, check if you have self-control yourself. Do you manage your emotions well? Can you say no to things that don’t align with your values?
Now, ask yourself — does this person you’re with have self-control too?
Self-control is not just about resisting temptations, it’s also about how someone behaves in public, how they handle being offended, or how they act when something doesn’t go their way. Can they control their emotions, desires, temper, or even attention from the opposite sex?
Self-control can save your relationship. Someone with self-control will not be quick to cheat or compromise easily. A soul with self-control has discipline and that’s very important in a long-term relationship.
2. Contentment
Are you contented with what you have as a person? If not, you may always chase after what others have, even in damaging ways.
Now, look at the person you’re with. Is he or she contented?
Someone who is not contented is easily influenced by trends, money, or anything flashy. They may cheat or pretend because they always want something “better.” That’s how people derail from their path — by chasing what doesn’t really matter.
Contentment doesn’t mean you don’t have ambition. It means you’re grateful and won’t destroy yourself or your values for more. A person with contentment will stay with you — even when things aren’t perfect.
3. Faithfulness
Faithfulness is not just about not cheating. It’s about being loyal, consistent, and honest — with money, with time, with people.
Ask yourself:
- Can this person give an account of what they do?
- Are they transparent?
- Can I trust them even when I’m not there?
If someone is not faithful in little things, they won’t be faithful in big things. And it applies to you too. You can’t expect what you don’t give. So be faithful as well.
4. Love
This love I’m talking about is not the usual one based on feelings. It’s deeper. It’s about understanding, sacrifice, and commitment.
Many people “feel” in love, but once reality shows up — the bills, stress, challenges — they fall out of love. Because it wasn’t real love. It was fantasy.
Ask questions. Understand the person’s view of love. Is it about giving or getting? Do they truly love people beyond emotions — like how God expects us to love?
True love is acceptance. Acceptance of flaws. Acceptance of imperfection. If someone genuinely loves you, they won’t just love what you offer, they will love you for your person.
5. Purpose-Driven
Does this person have purpose? Are they working on anything meaningful? Do they have direction, or are they just following trends?
Purpose-driven people want to grow. They are not lazy. They don’t just exist — they add value. When you’re with someone who is purpose-driven, it rubs off on you too.
Don’t tie yourself to someone who is going nowhere. You need someone with a mission, someone who wants to impact lives and evolve. That’s how you both grow stronger together.
Final Words
These five things — self-control, contentment, faithfulness, love, and purpose — are not just things to look for. They are things to also build in yourself.
Choosing someone to spend your life with is not about perfection. It’s about alignment. Look beyond emotions. Look at values. Look at how the person thinks and how they live.
Ask the right questions. Observe deeply. And most importantly, don’t just find the right person — be the right person too.
Because at the end of the day, the person you choose can either bring peace and progress into your life — or stress and confusion.
Choose wisely.
