Religious Differences in Marriage: Causes and Solutions
Differences in religious beliefs between a husband and wife often lead to friction that can severely threaten the stability of a home. These differences typically manifest in two main forms:
- Divergent Faiths: One spouse may be a Christian while the other is a Muslim or adheres to a different religion entirely.
- Different Denominations: Both spouses may share the same religion but belong to different sects or denominations, such as a Catholic married to a Pentecostal.
Causes of Religious Conflict in Marriage
1. Assumptions Before Marriage
Many couples overlook religious differences during courtship, believing that love will conquer all. However, the reality of lifelong coexistence, especially when the implications of those differences begin to surface, often leads to conflict. What once seemed trivial becomes a major concern when religious expectations clash.
READ: Healing Sexually Broken Marriages: Biblical Keys to Restoring Intimacy and Purity in the Family
2. Unenvisaged Changes After Marriage
It is common to assume that a less religious partner will easily convert or adapt to the other’s beliefs after marriage. However, this often proves to be a false hope. As Bettina Arndt notes in Private Lives (1986):
“Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.”
Some individuals may even pretend to share a partner’s faith before marriage, only to revert or abandon those beliefs afterward, leaving their spouse feeling deceived and trapped. Josh McDowell reinforces this idea:
“What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree… Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship.”
Also read: How Can Tolerance Improve Sexual Intimacy?
3. Unilateral Conversion
Sometimes, one partner converts to a different faith after marriage, creating a rift when the other partner finds it difficult to accept or adapt to the new religious practices.
4. Conflicting Denominational Practices
Even when both partners are of the same religion, differing denominational doctrines can bring tension—especially when their worship styles, teachings, and expectations differ significantly.
Common Areas of Religious Conflict in Marriage
- A Muslim husband may prohibit his Christian wife from hosting fellowship meetings at home.
- A husband may object to his wife attending night vigils or prayer meetings.
- Disagreements over appropriate clothing. For example, a Christian or Muslim spouse may insist on modest dressing, while a non-religious spouse might prefer more fashionable styles, leading to moral conflicts.
- Dietary restrictions. A Muslim husband may forbid pork in the home, while a Christian wife sees no issue, citing 1 Timothy 4:1-5 (NIV) to support her beliefs.
- Fasting rituals. While both Christianity and Islam encourage fasting, differences in timing, food preparation, and sexual abstinence may cause friction.
- Conflicts over religious obligations. A non-Christian husband may expect his wife to attend social events instead of church services, leading to emotional and spiritual strain.
- Children’s education. A Muslim father may prefer Islamic schooling, while the Christian mother may favor a secular or Christian-based nursery.
- Religious upbringing of children. Both parents may wish their children to adopt their respective faiths, but the husband may insist on exclusive allegiance to his religion.