What Really Matters in Relationships (4 Key Things to Note)
I will be listing what actually matters in relationships and things that people need to actually take note of. There are several things, although it may differ from person to person depending on their level of understanding, maturity, what they grew up with, their experiences, and more.
But now, I’m going to give you four important things you need to note, which are quite very important as a person in your relationship.
1. Do Not Try to Be Authoritative
Many people make the mistake of trying to be authoritative in their relationships. They’re looking for someone they can command or control. But human beings are not wired like robots or artificial intelligence. You can’t just give them commands and expect them to follow. People have their own minds, choices, and opinions.
Bringing that kind of mindset into a relationship—always trying to use authority—doesn’t help. If you want to have a stable relationship with the opposite sex (or whoever your partner may be), you have to avoid this approach. Don’t be forceful when passing your message or trying to get someone to do what pleases you.
Communicate with respect. Speak calmly. Understand that your partner also has their own will, and forcing your desires on them can lead to serious problems—even separation.
Also read: Religious Differences in Marriage: Causes and Solutions
2. Be a Listener
Like I mentioned earlier, don’t be authoritative. That’s very important. Now here’s another key: be a listener.
What do I mean by listener? I mean really listening to the person you’re in a relationship with—whether it’s your partner or someone else—before passing judgment. Many people don’t want to listen. They focus too much on their own emotional state or what they’re displeased about, without giving the other person a chance to speak.
You need to be different. Be a good listener. Listen fully, even to the smallest details. Let your partner feel heard before you respond. And when you do respond, do it with calmness and respect—not with a harsh or commanding tone. That’s how you build peace and understanding in any relationship.
Check this: Healing Sexually Broken Marriages: Biblical Keys to Restoring Intimacy and Purity in the Family
3. Compliment Your Partner
Now, the third key—complimenting. This is one of the things that truly matters in a relationship.
Complimenting someone shows how you see them and how you value them. It even shows how you imagine or admire them. Compliments can boost a person’s joy and increase their excitement just being around you. Think about it—everyone loves compliments. Yes, even you reading this. Compliments make us feel noticed and appreciated. They contribute to our activeness and energy, especially when they come from people we care about.
So when you’re with your partner, learn to compliment them. Compliment their efforts. Compliment what they do—even if it’s not perfect. No one gets everything 100% right, but when you acknowledge effort, it motivates the person to keep trying. Instead of always criticizing or pointing out faults, let your words lift them up.
Complimenting plays a powerful role in a long-lasting relationship. It brings healing, it builds confidence, and it makes your partner feel valued. This is one of the keys to a masterful and peaceful relationship.
Read this: THE PRINCIPLE OF GOOD HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS
4. Do Not Make Comparisons
Now, the last one: do not compare.
Comparing your partner with someone else is one of the biggest killers in a relationship. Whether you’re doing it openly or subtly, it damages their self-esteem. It reduces their excitement and gradually kills the affection they have for you. Words are powerful—especially from someone you truly care about. Every word counts.
Think about how it feels when your parents or loved ones compare you to others—it hurts. It makes you feel like you’re not enough. That’s exactly how your partner feels when you compare them with others. It tears them down emotionally.
Instead of comparing, do what I mentioned earlier—compliment. Embrace them. And if you notice areas where they’re lacking, don’t criticize or shame them. Teach them. Guide them. Help them grow. Growth in a relationship happens when both people are willing to learn and improve together.
If the person you’re with is teachable and open, that’s a gift. It helps build a relationship rooted in oneness—oneness in thought, in love, and in decision-making. That’s deeper than most “red flags” people often talk about.
So again, do not compare your partner with anyone. Instead, learn to grow together in love and understanding.
If this has spoken to you in any way, kindly share this content with someone who may need it. Let’s help build better, healthier relationships—one person at a time.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. Why is being authoritative harmful in a relationship?
Being authoritative can make your partner feel controlled or suppressed, which destroys trust and emotional connection. Relationships thrive on mutual respect and communication—not commands.
2. How can I be a better listener in my relationship?
Give your partner your full attention when they talk. Avoid interrupting, acknowledge their feelings, and respond calmly and thoughtfully. Listening strengthens emotional bonds.
3. Are compliments really that important?
Yes. Compliments make people feel appreciated and seen. When done sincerely, they boost self-esteem and show that you value your partner’s efforts and presence.
4. What harm does comparison cause in a relationship?
Comparison lowers your partner’s self-worth, builds resentment, and slowly erodes love. Instead of comparing, encourage growth and communicate what you desire in a supportive way.
5. What should I do if my partner isn’t teachable or open to change?
Growth takes willingness from both sides. If your partner isn’t open, have a heart-to-heart conversation. If that still doesn’t help, it may be time to reevaluate compatibility and values.
